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Creature from the Pit
Nov. 21st, 2006 09:57 amYesterday I crashed and burned and slipped into complete depression. Long time since that happened to me, and it's horrible. Partly my own fault, for going short of sleep and exercise, and eating the wrong stuff. But I'd forgotten how horrible it is to feel that you'd be better off dead, and so would your nearest and dearest.
I get awfully bad at relating to people when I'm depressed. It's just too exhausting. Went to bed at 8.30pm last night, just wandered off upstairs and didn't even say goodnight to the family. Terribly selfish but that's what I needed. I felt a bit better this morning and actually made myself tidy the house before I sat down at the computer. The Internet is way too tempting when RL gets to be a bit much.
It sounds completely ludicrous but I actually remember thinking at around 3.00am last night "Don't be silly, if you top yourself you'll never get to see The Runaway Bride." And once I knew I could think that, and laugh at it, I started to climb out of the pit.
What helps when I'm depressed? Absolutely no booze. The gym. Walking, gardening, healthy food and loads of sleep. And music, sometimes quite cheesy and emotional. Right now I've been listening to Broadway Reflections by John Barrowman and emoting through his voice, which has a way of stripping layers away. He can even make Cole Porter sound a bit emotional, which takes some doing.
I get awfully bad at relating to people when I'm depressed. It's just too exhausting. Went to bed at 8.30pm last night, just wandered off upstairs and didn't even say goodnight to the family. Terribly selfish but that's what I needed. I felt a bit better this morning and actually made myself tidy the house before I sat down at the computer. The Internet is way too tempting when RL gets to be a bit much.
It sounds completely ludicrous but I actually remember thinking at around 3.00am last night "Don't be silly, if you top yourself you'll never get to see The Runaway Bride." And once I knew I could think that, and laugh at it, I started to climb out of the pit.
What helps when I'm depressed? Absolutely no booze. The gym. Walking, gardening, healthy food and loads of sleep. And music, sometimes quite cheesy and emotional. Right now I've been listening to Broadway Reflections by John Barrowman and emoting through his voice, which has a way of stripping layers away. He can even make Cole Porter sound a bit emotional, which takes some doing.
